When Is It Appropriate to “Pop Up” at Someone’s House?

When is it appropriate to pop up at someone’s house, unannounced? The answer is never, in my case. And I say never in the most sincere, yet stern way possible. I’ve NEVER been a fan of pop up visits unless it was my mama, and that’s because she lives a bit away from me.

But for anyone that thinks I’m being crass in not wanting unsolicited guests in my home, let me give you a few reasons why it’s frowned upon.

The Kid is Finally Sleep

It can be a challenge to get the younger kids to take a nap in this house. And when I do, I’m usually tip toeing around the house to make sure they stay asleep. Without fail, the moment I lay the baby down to sleep, someone is knocking on my door because they were “in the neighborhood”. It would actually infuriate me when the baby was smaller because I actually did try to rest when she rested.

I’m Not Wearing a Bra

When I come home for the day, the first thing I do is pop my bra off. I don’t have those lil’ bite muffin tata’s either. I have those big ol’ Shopper’s Food Warehouse muffin tata’s. When I take my bra off and release the kraken, I’m not looking for anyone to stop by my house. When someone does, I’m usually looking awkward with my arms crossed over my boobs to hide it all. It’s uncomfortable and it’s annoying. And I’m definitely NOT putting my bra back on.

I Finally Got to Go To The Bathroom in Peace

Nothing is more frustrating then getting all the kids occupied so you can use the bathroom in peace. It goes without fail, that the moment my hind parts touch that white porcelain in my bathroom, that some secret dog whistle summons the kids to my impending course of action. My name is being called, there are tiny fingers under the door, or I’m hearing phantom baby cries even though I KNOW the baby is sleep. It takes a lot to tune all of that out. So when you come to my home unannounced, and disturb my carefully curated moment of Zen, I get a bit bothered.

My House Is A Mess

There have been times when I’ve gotten the heads up that someone is around the corner, and I’ve run downstairs to straighten up. I have 4 kids. And they all leave some type of trail. And while you may have your kids whipped into shape to keep your house in pristine shape…..I don’t. They clean on command, but they can be a bit messy before and after. And the toddler doesn’t care that you’ve just put all her toys away, she firmly believes they belong all over the family room. And while the kitchen is generally clean from 9p to 8am, those aren’t usually the hours that unannounced house guests come. My house doesn’t look like a hoarders home, but I can bet your Sweet Aunt Fannie that there is a bag of clean clothes in the family room, unfolded blankets on the couches, a line of toys from the kitchen to the family room and a few dishes in the sink.

I’m Booed Up

Another rare moment when the kids are either preoccupied, I like to simply LAY next to my husband. A quickie in our walk in closet would be nice, but when that’s not possible, laying next to him for a little bit is awesome. So when you come to the house ringing the doorbell, unannounced, we’re both angry. Well, my husband may be a bit relieved because his arm was probably falling asleep with my heavy head on it….but you get my point.

I’m All Alone

You may hear me scream from outside if all the kids are gone and I’m in the house alone and company comes by. Real talk. If I’ve managed to make my entire family disappear for a few hours, so I can walk over the toys in the family, crack open a bottle of wine and binge watch something on Netflix, the last thing I want to do is hear my doorbell.

I Didn’t Make Enough Food For You

If you come during any meal time, chances are I cooked JUST enough for my family. Unlike Jesus, I am unable able to feed an entire town with five loaves of bread and two fish. My kids are sticklers for seconds of dinner and then I need to make sure there is a bit left over for lunch the next day. I probably could throw you a fruit snack or capri sun, but I’m quite sure you won’t be able to get a piece of what I’ve cooked.

I know that my reasoning’s may sound rude, but it’s the truth. I probably won’t mind pop up guests once the kids are much older and I get more moments to myself and when I’m not spending a paycheck on groceries. Until then, please TEXT me when you may possibly be in the area. And I’ll need at least 36 hours notice to properly prepare. Also, these rules apply to me as well. If I’m in your neighborhood, I’ll text you to say so and then give you the chance to either say nah or come through. My feelings will NOT be hurt if you say nah. I totally get it!

And I’ve seen people say, just don’t answer the door. I can’t do that because my kids are loud as hell. It’s taken years of training to tell them to NOT run screaming through the house “someone’s at the door!”, but that still doesn’t prevent my younger two from breaking my blinds to see who it is.

I LOVE my family and friends and actually want them to visit. I just need a buffer between when they plan on coming and when they TELL me they are coming. lol!

Are you open to pop up visitors?

7 Comments

  • Jonna

    The only place I’d pop up at is my parents house and that’s because i have a key. Even then I’d still text them to say I’m coming or popping in.

  • Kita

    I don’t believe in pop up visits at all. I also reserve the right to say no if someone calls and says they are in the area. It’s a no for me most of the time.

  • MUAKimPorter

    I despise pop-up visitors. Everyone who knows me knows this. I will straight pretend you’re not there or be cold the entire time so you’ll not stay long. I love my personal time and being by myself when I get that time; therefore, I don’t like for people to encroach upon it.

  • Tomiko

    The only person that can pop up is my bff and she lives in Houston so the likely hood of that happening is zero! Don’t come over my house unannounced and I’m with you on the bra!

  • Mimi Green

    I don’t believe in shopping up unannounced. Most people are not crazy enough to do that to me. However for those that do, they can’t be mad if you don’t open the door.

  • Stephanie Hicks

    OMG! I literally laughing at your post! Not to be rude, but the part about having your bra off just milked the whole post for me! But I FEEL YOU! When I’m home with my kids during the day…if someone comes to the door, I’m creeping to the door to see who it is! Not that I mind the company, but some days I don’t feel like company. I have friends who just “assume” I’m home too and just stop by. I definitely don’t like that so this post really spoke to me.

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