Why My Toddler Needs Rehab


It wasn’t until tonight that I truly realized just how powerful bacon really is. My toddler was crying and I offered her bacon to make her hush…. And it worked.

Scary right. I happened to be cooking bacon to season my cabbage (judge your mother), so it was available. She ate 4 slices before I realized she had a problem. And not a problem, problem. Just a bacon problem.

As much as I LOVE bacon, I don’t cook with it often. I hate that the smell lingers in the air, but all the bacon is gone. That makes me sad.

Tonight after I gave my toddler her last piece of bacon, she seemed sad. She ran off into another room. I’m assuming to savor the last strip. She comes back, belly full of that smokey, salty, thick cut swine and balls her first up. She looks me in the eye and says “Oh Noooooo! The bacon is all gone!”

I sympathize with her. I, too, was upset that the bacon was gone. Then she says confidently:

“PJ Masks, we’re on our way, into the night to save the day!”

She forced me and one of her sisters to fist bump her.

If only I had more bacon! Dammit!! I wish I wasn’t more lazy than bacon crazy. I wasn’t moving from my seat.

But it was at that moment that I realized my toddler had a deep rooted appreciation and obsession with bacon. And I’m ok with that.

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